you are now aware that the mona lisa has no eyebrows

So today was pretty much a Fun Day. I woke up bright and early, then went “hee I don’t have to wake up bright and early” and went back to bed. Then, around noon (which isn’t really all that self-indulgent honest) I got up and cooked myself a mess of sausage and tomato and potato, and then unwrapped my pressies.

Yesterday most of the block went to see “500 Days of Summer”, which was not as bad as I was expecting from it being a romantic comedy (but would have been much much better if they’d cut the narrator and the last fifteen minutes or so.) “lol, impermanence” is a great moral, whether delivered depressingly or romantic-comedically. Everyone who’d brought a Freshers’ Fest pack got one free cinema ticket; I didn’t, but what the hell. I produced a sketch map for the twisty and arduous (hah) journey from Five Ways station and made tea for people afterwards.

Today was the Bar One pub quiz, with the top prize being one thousand bottles of beer. There were at least a hundred teams competing for this, and mine was annoyingly near the top. We did ourselves proud, knowing between us some downright pitiliessly obscure things (and I don’t think anyone else recognised Edinburgh Castle from orbit). It was not knowing anything about blue whales’ sexual characteristics which failed us. That and Anne Boleyn.

I brought the (pink) helium balloon given to me and played with it happily through the quiz. Then a student from a nearby table came over and told me shyly that his mate (indicating nervous-looking bespectacled male student on that table) “really liked the look” of me. I’m not sure whether this was genuine or some kind of practical joke, but said in the least surprised tones I could muster “I am not gay sorry, it is merely my birthday, whee balloons” and he looked a little disappointed and went back.

So all in all I received today:
From my family, a TEAPOT! And fancy kinds of TEA! Apparently several agencies conspired independently to solve my filter problem. So now I can make a lot of tea at once. My, well, teapot runneth over. And FUDGE. And a jumper I had left at home.
And an ELECTRIC RAZOR! Exciting and romantic! But I need to find an adaptor for it before I can actually use it, because there are no shaver sockets about. Ah well.
And a LITTLE TWINGLY THING which plays a TUNE.
From my flatmates, a CARD proclaiming me to be a Saturday Night Beaver, and a JERSEY. It is warm and woollen and V-necked and quite smart and way way too small for me. The thought definitely counted though. A lot.
From Flat 67, ANOTHER CARD listing “Jezza’s Ten Fave Things”, in illustrated order: tea, computers, Star Wars, clean bikes, glasses, zombies, war, proper cooking condiments, MAGGOTS, Nazis. These people really have me pegged. Is somewhat worrying. Also the aforementioned PINK HELIUM BALLOON. And pink STRINGY STUFF. In my hair. I… thanks?
From my blockmates, in particular Hannah and Becky, a CARD featuring various famous folks by the name of Jeremy (Fisher and Clarkson I recognised, Ron I really didn’t need to) along with the more insane shots of me snatched from my facebook, which is now occupying a lovely space in my pinboard and probably my waking nightmares.
And then, after the pub quiz, a CAKE! Which me and Jon (whose birthday is the 28th) shared and enjoyed with the post-pub quiz crowd and nattered on and on into the night. He wished to go out for a first birthday drink and I opted to join him for a last, so eventually it was five of us trotting along the road south towards the Gun Barrels, and then, the last:
From some mindless driveby cunt, an EGG at high velocity, which burst quite painfully and succeeded in spreading itself across my shirt, trousers and half the inside of my beloved woollen overcoat.

So now I sit here while the washing machine turns, looking at my timetable for tomorrow, working out if 20 feels any different from 19, and wishing very much to find this man, stick my thumbs in his eyes and hang on til he’s dead.


£1 train ticket
£4 cinema ticket
£1 pub quiz
£2.20 laundry

Week’s total:


4 thoughts on “you are now aware that the mona lisa has no eyebrows

  1. Well… For me, shortly after I turned 20 (and I’m still 20, so it wasn’t too long ago), I started getting dizzy spells every time I stand up (and still do… I am waiting for my blood work results to come back to see if I have iron deficiency and taking meds to clear any liquid in my head) and I can no longer stay up past 2AM without losing bodily functions. I also eat 3 meals a day regularly and exercise and feel like if I don’t, I’m going to become really really fat.
    Oh! One last thing. Maybe you don’t really need to know, but I constantly need sex now. At least way more than when I was 19. I preferred just rubbing people’s bald heads back then. ;>

    1. It was certainly an eventful day! Seven hours sleep, five hours of ennui, five minutes of trauma, thirty minutes of washing, the rest of fun – a decent ratio to keep up, I feel.

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