“It was often possible to follow the course of an approaching cannonball with the naked eye, but it was regarded as bad form to move or duck; as Sgt.Maj. William Ballam of the 2/73rd remarked to Pvt William Dent, ‘Damn you sir, what do you stoop for? You should not stoop if your head was off!’ Almost immediately Ballam was struck dead by a ball which hit him in the middle of the face, whereupon Dent turned to the mangled remains and said, ‘Damn it, sir, what do you lie there for? You should not lie down if your head was off’; which of course, it was.”

we sail tonight for singapore

(Prompted by reading this article)

(and listening to this song, though I really shouldn’t have to tell you that, sort your life out)

Hovercraft: WE SAIL TONIGHT FOR SINGAPORE
Hovercraft: WE’RE ALL AS CLEAN AS CHOIRBOYS HERE
Brosencrantz: I’VE FALLEN FOR A SANCTIONED WHORE
Hovercraft: TOOK OFF TO THE LAND OF JEANS
Brosencrantz: WENT SHOPPING WITH THE CHINAMEN
Brosencrantz: CLEANED UP THE SEWERS OF PARIS
Hovercraft: THE CAPTAIN IS A CORPORATE SHILL
Hovercraft: HE’S REPORTING THROWN DICE ALONG THE WHARF TO THE RELEVANT AUTHORITIES
Hovercraft: IN THE HALL OF THE BLAND THE SINGAPOREAN MAN IS KING
Hovercraft: SO TAKE THIS COUPON
Brosencrantz: PAT HIM DOWN FOR CHEWING-GUM
Brosencrantz: TAKE AWAY HIS STOCK OF RUM
Brosencrantz: FROM NOW ON BOYS THIS GLASSY MALL’S YOUR HOME
Brosencrantz: (huh the line “wash your mouth out by the door” doesn’t actually need to be modified)
Hovercraft: WIPE HIM DOWN WITH VASELINE
Hovercraft: TILL HIS ARMS ARE SOFT AND CLEAN
Brosencrantz: PICK THE LITTER FROM THE FLOOR
Brosencrantz: WASH YOUR MOUTH OUT BY THE DOOR