Quotes from the brilliant curator of the military archive I was researching at last week:

“First we called it FASM (Future Anti-Structure Munition), but we cut off the F because if you call it Future you’ll never see it. That pissed off the attack subs, because they wanted ASM, so we opened up a call for new names for the programme. Suggestions included Overpressure Rocket Grenade Anti-Structure Munition, or “ORGASM”, or Future Urban Combat Munition, for “fuck’em.” 

“No, I loathe DOSG. They failed 105mm arty rounds on engineering grounds after they’d been in service for forty years. There I was, sitting on 400,000 artillery shells, all of Afghanistan is clamouring for more ammunition, and they tell me that I probably shouldn’t use them because of a safety defect.”

[taps a big pile of artificial skulls and blocks of bullet-rent ballistic material] “This is a PhD student who never finished his PhD.”
Me: “What, you rendered him down into ballistic gel?” 
“This isn’t ballistic gel, this is ballistic soap. You can wash your hands with it.”


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