I’m On A Train (ft. Virgin) – West Coast Main Line Version

Aw shit!
Get your tickets ready, it’s about to go down
Everybody in the place hit the fucking platform
And look for your motherfucking COACH
We’re boarding this, let’s go

I’m on a train
I’m on a train
Everybody look at me cause I’m riding on a train
I’m on a train
I’m on a train
Take a good hard look at the motherfucking train

I’m on a train motherfucker take a look at me
Straight riding on a train through the green country
Busting 125, windows streaky with the rain
You can’t stop me motherfucker cause I’m on a train

Take a ticket scan, I’m on a train, man
I’m drinking tea that was poured out by the trolley man
I got my power socket and my table seat
Reserve the quiet coach, it’s well hard to beat

I’m in the bathroom, trying to wash my hands and shit
The tap here’s broken, it’s getting me all wet
But this ain’t a cheap train, this is dear as it gets
I’m on a train motherfucker, don’t you ever forget

I’m on a train and, it’s braking well hard
I got a 16-25 young persons railcard
I’m the king of the rails on a train like Thomas
…we’re really slowing, getting worried if I’m honest

Fuck cars, I’m on a train motherfucker
Fuck beds, I sleep in seats motherfucker
Stopped the trolley, I’m buying treats motherfucker
At least I’ve got plenty to eat motherfucker

Hey mum if you could see me now
The train in front is fucked up somehow
We’re stuck in farmland, I’m staring at a cow
Thought I’d be on time, now that’s impossible

Yeah I never thought I’d wait on a train
A clunky overpriced metal pain
Richard Branson, look at me

Never thought it’d be this way,
Now I’ve been stuck on a train all day
Believe me when I say,

RENATIONALISE THE RAILWAYS

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